A Daughter of Nyx

Calm, steady gravel-thread hands. I remember ~ precise, your nose. Every beach, driving. Hump-back down those roads.

Seagulls. Seagrass. Always. Us.

‘Plumbing, pliers, electronics. Understand these my friend, defy all logic’.

Calm, steady gravel-thread hands. Hump-back down those roads.

Remember when you told me off?

I do. Hot, shame-smart righteousness.

Ready well of tears and sadness-chasm.

Bones knuckle-white, threadbare on the arms of that weathered chair: “Of course! Scream too. Let it all out. I do”.

Cheerful. Whistling,

When something went unstoppably wrong ~ and it did ~ because we were children.

But then when things went right…

But then when things went right…

It was bubble-gold and pressing against sides of mouth, exploding its sides against stomach. It was compressed joy-yelp. It was safety.

Familiar weight-crunch on gravel. Needing you. Steady car.

Sometimes, I think, you needed us. Snoring like an Octopus, legs up in the air, canine breath coming through The Keep. Back seat. Dog hair everywhere.

‘”What’s that?”

“Mmm? Alright lovie? Didn’t see you there”.

“Grandad, Grandad you alright Grandad?”

“Yes, yerrs ~ just drifted off.”

That was it.

You were there.

Listen.

I listen to music the way I do because of you.

I feel music the way I do because of you.

So, thank you for the happiness,

for the thanks that went unseen.

For all my life you were to me a haven of soft warm green.

Maybe love’s an accident or destiny is true. 

But you made sure I was born beneath a star of dazzling blue.

“We’ll build a wall that nothing can break through,

And we’ll dream our dreams of dazzling blue…”

Still. Peace. Quiet. The morning after someone I loved died, I came here… And sound. I remembered another voice. Music in the air.

Dalston Eastern Curve Garden is set back from the traffic-swarm. Blink and you’ll miss it. Community, space, families playing, herbs, bees, the sunlight soaks through your skin, floral dappling on ground. And ~ most importantly ~ he would have liked it.

In Love&Light… Grandad. FS XOX