This year, I found myself reluctant to come out of the cocoon of rest and rebirth that Winter had held for me. I didn’t want to move away from cosy jumpers, hot water bottles, bare black branches on the trees and the catch of cold in my throat when I went out for a walk. It felt like my body was saying ‘It will always be like this, don’t take me away from this’. So I found it really difficult to change the background on my phone to the picture of the yellow joyous daffodils and daisies on the road beside my mother’s cottage and away from the cherry-red hawthorn berries I had taken in December. The green and yellow were suddenly jarring, even though we had passed the Equinox and the first day of Spring. But I changed it because I knew I had to move forward. There was a whole year left to live, and Spring and Summer would come and warmer weather, whether I had completed my to-do list or not. Sometimes we just need a little push, and there are few things more gentle than the first stirrings of Spring in English soil. Daffodils and snowdrops, crocuses, primroses, hyacinths, bluebells ~ soft and vulnerable and determined, and bursting with new life, telling us it is time to move on…
My second surprising sign of Spring came from this cuddly toy in the window of a local charity shop, greeting me with a smile as I got out of my mum’s car as she dropped me off for a shift at the restaurant. ‘Mama!’, I cried, delighted ‘Look! It’s a sign!’ ‘Of what?’, she asked, completely baffled. I felt myself glowing with happiness ‘That I’m going in the right direction,’ I breathed and proceeded to take pictures of this big fluff ball before running inside to start work. Now, some might think that seeing a massive fluffy chick in a shop window in March isn’t completely unexpected, but it was for me. For this chick is the same one I had as a little girl. My grandpa bought it as a gift for me on one of our outings to the garden centre in Sussex and I named her Hilary, almost 25 years ago now. So it was a moment of encouragement for me ~ I haven’t felt my grandpa with me in a long time since he died in 2017, and at first, I thought it was because he wasn’t proud of where I am in life, but I feel him now. I think this was a sign, my grandpa telling me ‘Well done, keep going, I am here. Even if your life doesn’t look how you thought it would, you carry a torch for a future only you can see’.
The next day, my mum ran me back home to Leeds in her car. I went into Morrisons for supplies and spotted these joyous Easter Mini Egg cakes ~ I forget they exist all year until suddenly they reappear on supermarket shelves and bring me so much joy. They are in fact the only shop-bought cakes I will eat, so I couldn’t resist getting them, laying a couple out on my Moon plate when I got home on the terrace and enjoying them with a coffee before I started cleaning. Inspired by my chocolatey Easter treats, I went in search of some fun recipes to recommend that are traditionally associated with this time of year. And what I found is a cookbook I can get behind…
The Cadbury Mini Eggs Cookbook ~ £9.99 ~ Amazon
I tried to imagine the best cookbook in the world and then I found it… This is definitely going on my Wishlist next year!
Of course, I’m glad I had this moment of pleasure, for then my boiler broke an hour before my best friend was due to visit me to stay the night, on a Sunday, and it certainly wasn’t balmy enough to spend the whole night without heating. One panicked phone call to my mum, and she and my sister, in true domestic goddess style, both set off on a quest around Leeds to find two mini portable heaters to warm me and Alex and dropped them off whilst I was picking him up from the station. When I got home, I found that my mum had not only tidied my living room and kitchen, and put the laundry bags that I currently live out of upstairs, but my sister had also left hanging on my front door this absolutely beautiful Easter wreath. I was overjoyed when I came home, slightly frazzled, with Lex by my side, to discover it. I feel so touched that my sister thought of me and knew how much it would mean to me to have it hanging there… It is time.
Time to trust my relationships, and leave that which was in Winter behind. It is a new Season in all our lives. Spring is here, and these are the first unexpected signs…
If you would like your own festive Easter wreath, I highly recommend this beautiful handmade seller, Blossomloops, on Etsy 😉
Spring Easter Wreath by Blossomloops ~ Etsy ~ £42.00+
In Love&Light, FS XOX
A Daughter of Nyx 